Mann. I miss him I remember when we first met up I aint believe that was my homegirl cousin (thanks Kenna) and I remember that promise we made each other. I swear, he like a brother to me. Anywhoo. Mann, Charles done pissed me off yesterday over girls and their ass showin, vagina's (which .... looked weird) showin and small boobs like.... honestly. *makes face* I cant say nothing cuz my homeboy came by to talk to me and he was like, "i mean, compared to yours, everybodies breasts are gonna seem small. Hell, you make my girls chest seem like a B and she a C." and im always like, my boobs arent that damn big.
lol.
Anywhoo. Yea, so....... I miss him. He in Cali just got off his ship. I wanna see him soooooo badd. Im scared that if i do see him ima feel the same way i felt for him in high school. (yea he was my high school crush and .... mm. I wuda had the chance if it wasnt for certain people back then) *ex's lol*
Hmm....
Oh yea Charles.
I was just beyond pissed. I wasted gas and time yesterday if i knew he wasnt going to do what he said he was going to do then I wouldnt feel this badd but im tired of these surprised visits like, honestly. What the hell? I gotta drop my plans for u (i had no plans lol) never again. Next time u really wanna see me. Find a way to come get me cuz thats about the only way ima see u now.
and he looked so saddd wen i gave him backk his phone. I was madd and he was jux..... sad and he felt soooo badd like, duhhh u shud. but im not gnna make him feel that badd. I shud but im not. He already felt badd wen he called me and actually stayed on the phone from the time i gave him back his car to the time he went to sleep. Honestly, this was from 3:30-7am and i heard him tlk bout how he was sorry and how he was feeling and what was on his mind (and other stuff i was half listenin) but its ohkayy tho.
the whole paybackk thing. that was ......... me talking out the side of my neck like always wen im pissed off but what i wrote in those text messages to his cousins phone was the truth and nothing but the truth and im not taking that back. *wasnt nothing mean but how my feelings were involved and how i shud jux throw his phone out in the middle of the road and run over them* but.... im good now.
Still upset when i think about it. my heart sinks.
and then we moved stuff out the dorm today and my back is in so much pain for some odd reason, bending over and picking up the TV. Not good. Im going to sleep tho.
'I had a dream...... I gotta post this cuz i havent done it yet.
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