Letter To My Boyfriend

This is kind of old, i meant to post this last week. I am not good with explaining how I feel to someone Im usually the type of person that will write it or text it to them and just not say it to their face. Its kind of embarrassing especially if they dont feel the same way I feel or dont understand how I feel. I been sooo stressed out lately like, i still am, I got an interview tomorrow but I cant do it. I might as well just fail this damn class. That's what I am doing anyway, failing. This and Speech. Life is so stressful and Im supposed to be transferring. Smh. I think if i get home and do my stuff and just turn it in later, then im good other than that. Im just lost as to what and where my motivation is. Its the end of the school year, come on. Ughhh cant wait till its over.

Letter to my boyfriend....

You don’t marry somebody you can live with – you marry the person you cannot live without




I don’t know how to tell you how I truly feel about you, I mean, I don’t even know if I can explain it. It’s like, I like you but I know it is far more than that. You’re the only person that I think about every day no matter what I am doing, where I am, awake or not, your just always on my mind and I can’t seem to get you off of it. I don’t even know how to express my feelings for you the way I want to, when I am with you, it’s like, so many questions are going through my head, I want to ask you but I can’t because then I’ll feel like I’m just asking stupid questions just to say something.


I hate being with you sometimes, because I know that if I’m with you, I am going to have to leave soon which sucks, and I hate to leave you. Especially if it’s like, an hour I don’t want to leave. You are just far, far enough for me to see you and far enough to make me crazy because I can’t see you ( no idea if that made any sense ) and then when I go to Winston Salem your gonna be like, 3 hours away and that’s far. Like, FAR and I wish I met you before I even thought about transferring there because then I would stay here and just forced myself into a major but nope, I had to go up there and I don’t even know when my mom would be willing to come pick me up and I already know that you probably wouldn’t make it up there to come see me because its 3 hours away. Ya kno. So, that’s like, a couple weeks of me not seeing you and I’m just used to seeing you at least once a week, regardless if I get the car or not. Even when I don’t see you, I wanna talk to you before you go to sleep, because most of the time, I can’t sleep if I haven’t talked to you at all that night. I gotta make it seem like your there with me to just stay sleep.


I hate that you got me feeling so vulnerable, believe it or not it’s taking me at least 2 hours to write this. I love the sound of your voice, the way you talk, the way you dress walk, smile, laugh, etc. etc. I feel like I never met a guy like you before and I feel real lucky to have you in my life even though you say that to me all the time. You treat me so good, no one treats me like the way you do. I feel a whole lot better than I used to, I really do care for you papi, I just don’t think you know how much.


I ask myself like, a thousand questions about you all the time. Like, what you was thinking about when you first saw me and why you wanted me to be yours, especially on Valentine ’s Day. I just always wanted to know what you be thinking about when you be with me, ya kno. This sucks because my chest feels weird and then when you call, I get all excited. I miss you too much and I don’t know what I would do without you. I want to rub your hair, give you your massage you been asking for, play with your hands. You know, all that… Weird stuff people tend to like. Seriously, it’s like, I don’t know. It’s just weird. Especially since I’m not really used to expressing my feelings anyway.

Yea Yea Yea, he read it in front of me. It just felt so awkward I didnt want him to read it in front of me but oh well I guess. *sighs* I dont know what was going through his head he just got quiet and sat there and didnt say nothing *lol and i thought he was about to cry* Then he just started talking about me going to Winston Salem and I wanted him to shut up. I dont want to talk about that right now. Oh yea, did I mention this nigga said "Im not going to cheat on you while your up at Winston Salem" like what the heck is that supposed to mean. So if you didnt read it you would??? Pshht. I didnt take that too seriously cuz the way he acts sometimes i dont even know like, I know he wouldnt but with all my other relationships... I cant say but I know (as of right now) he wouldnt. He wont even go to the club (which is down the street from my house), He'll be all worked up on coming to see me. Its funny though. lol and I had to go to Winston Salem in the morning around 6 and he didnt leave from me till 3.

*skipping my math class ima finish this paper and this resume if its the last thing i do*

Its just, he been on my mind sooo much. I cant wait till Im out of school (in july because im going to do summer school *ughh* for a lil extra cash when / if i go off.) I get to spend time with him and just him unless I get a job then, yea. Work School Boyfriend. Mind you, I dont deal with stress well, at all.

I know what I do need.

Time Management Skills
--anyone knows where i can take a class for that?????